it never made sense
when the sand was all I had
to build with.
sand castles
blown to swirls by the wind.
never stable and never able
to keep me secure.
a Rock
followed me, believed for me
when I was so faithless.
and shelter did I find in Him.
Matthew 7:24-27, 1 Corinthians 10:4, Exodus 17:6
In case it is ever forgotten,
I want you to remember how brave you are.
When you were in the thick of your fears
you handled life like a champ and took the narrow way out.
When you were left with threads of loose ends,
you realized no trophy could replace the feeling of grace.
And when you were still left with lingering, unanswered questions,
you didn’t look back in regret, but instead you rose up
with a dedication that was too great to even call your own.
You trusted, and stopped working for your own wants and needs.
You stopped scooping up grains of sand that were
dead ends and ill means and you stood still,
when your very nature was begging for you to be.
If you ever forget, I am here to tell you that you were very brave indeed
for choosing to step into the unknown future.
This will always be the story that I tell of you
whenever you begin to feel confused or weak,
because you took the narrow path with nothing to show for it,
except for a knowledge-surpassing peace.
I wrote something new
but then ripped it in half,
tried writing again
but I couldn’t go back
to the feeling that lied
on the black and white lies,
the feeling that lied
on my ribcage inside.
I wrote something new
but realized it old,
the same words from past years
of rhythm and coldness
and nonsense of
missing and reminiscing
and limbo and fishing
for something new to write.
I wrote circles around this,
tried to get past this,
found it awful to carve it down,
carve it outside me.
like dragging old bones
and expecting them to walk,
waiting for time to work
and light to search–
And so I stopped writing.
To pull away for a moment,
to stop digging and picking
and to let the light grow
was needed.
there was the winter and rest,
the killing snow and rain
for replenishing, healing,
and washing away.
So no more empty words,
no more torture of ruminating to
illuminate something in darkness.
there is just today,
with a clean page
and a fresh start
to write with boldness
concerning the truth.
