The Words

On my blank page

They see a frame.

Instead, I see your face.

Paper hosting our dear fate–

And did you feel that, too?

The promise of remembering you?

I see stories miles long

And words that sing a song

Of deep and sad defeat.

Every feeling that I’ve owned

From all that you have ever known.

All of me is all you’ve sown.

Every time I go to write

And all my characters come to life

Or California flies to me

In hazy, familiar remedy

Sewn by pen that loops in glee

You are there to meet me.

        On every page.

In every secret letter change.

Every word that stems from heart

And swears to take my every part.

I cannot speak or write or think

Without the pain that you’re missing.

I wait for it to let me go,

Instead to linger all the more.

I put it down before it wastes

And hope to see what you’ve erased,

Yet in fleeting vapor motions

Do you come and still evade.

You wrote to find out who you were

In rhythms, rhymes and messy blurs

Of overly romantic, tragic words.

But lost you were

In midst of sea, and empty

Did you find your page to be.

I watch the pencil sink and grow

The feelings only you and I know.

Without you here with me

A drenched and throbbing

Memory of you

Is fighting to be set free.

It’s not okay to think you’re bad

Or think it’s a mistake.

To take this closeness as a curse

For something in this universe

Has kept you near to me.

Now distance is the memory.

So you’re still here

In glimpses of the words.

Yours burned and mine came.

You got lost but I remained

To keep something alive.

My hand is held by this.

Now every cabinet is filled

With sheets you’re stitched into.

And I hope to show you

Before you’re truly gone,

All the words you gave me

That I have ever sung.

-December 2015

Duet

Tell me about the music

I have been waiting 

to hear my whole life.


A backdrop 

for our first stop 

on the way to the moon.


No other tune could melt my heart 

of frozen rose petals

than a full and darling duet 

with you.

Fill

Oh, let me come home to You.
I have been waiting for You
to fill my longing.

This world only brings me much pain.
It promised me good but refrained
from filling my longing.

I’ve seen what You have done for me,
to bring me out into Yourself,
how long You were patient.

You’ve loved me with an eternal love,
Have waited and prayed so long
For me to respond.

Lord, I’ve found with You I belong.
I’m sorry it took me so long
to fill Your longing.

Before & After

Once you were a carcass

with a throbbing thing inside,

a complicated, corrupted heart

that ate up every lie.

 

So small and feeble,

weak, and unknowingly evil,

unaware of hoarding vain treasures

to your own harm.

 

Run by every wind of trend,

arbitrary in reasoning,

and turning every which way

at every fleeting promise ever made.

 

Restless at last you were found.

Shined on in your dark,

self-defeated on the ground.

        This is when God came in.

 

Picked up and laid on His shoulder,

given food and water and rest and

He wants to invest Himself in you.

 

You were not meant to be swept up

in the tide of this age like a broom

to a dustpan with no purpose.

 

You were not meant to be an empty vessel,

or for happiness to wrestle,

but chosen to contain a golden treasure.

 

And you weren’t meant to be down-worn,

but you were meant to draw strength

from that golden treasure store.

 

Not your own effort but His grace, His faith.

Not material blessing, but diving into

His riches, on His very self to gaze.

 

Standing firm and unshakable,

never hopeless on the floor,

but deeply rooted and grounded in the Lord.

 

That is why God came in.

 


Ecclesiastes 1:14 & 5:13; Luke 6:48 & 15:5; 2 Corinthians 4:7; Galatians 2:20; Ephesians 2:4-5